Candy Crosses

About three years ago, I got into a fierce Facebook argument over Easter candy. Yeah, it was kinda stupid.

A friend of mine posted a picture of "candy crosses" on his Facebook page and asked people what they thought of a crucifix made of chocolate. Oh, yeah, I had an opinion. You bet I did.

But I waited for the first Suzy Sunday School to post her "bright and happy" opinion before I tore her up.

She said something like, "I don't see anything wrong with it. It's just candy and it teaches our kids about Jesus. It's harmless."

I was dripping venom on my keyboard as I responded with something like this: "The Roman cross was a tool of torture that killed our Savior. And we make it into a chocolate confection? Is that really what we should do to celebrate Resurrection Sunday? Let me give you the modern crossover. How about we make little chocolate electric chairs filled with creamy filling? Or lethal injection kits with injectable raspberry goodness?"

Yeah, tactless. And a huge conversation ensued.

But it's three years later and I've changed my mind. I think we should keep candy crosses around.

On my way to church each Sunday, I've got about a 30 minute drive and I love to listen to the AM band on the radio. (Not to mention the junk that's on television each morning.)

The gospel is hardly being preached. Jesus is presented as someone who wants to make us prosper. It's a false gospel meant to make us well, meant to make us rich, meant to make us the happiest people on planet earth.

That's not the gospel.

The gospel is our Savior crucified for our sins, in our place.  We were once the enemy of God but we can now come to Him because of what Jesus did. He doesn't promise an easy life, but suffering if we follow Him.

So we need to keep the candy crosses around. Know why? Because our poor, pitiful modern church has created some pathetic versions of a confectionery, fake Jesus that need to be crucified on them.

Why Churches Aren't Growing: Transparency And The Fallen Church

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24 ESV)

I write a lot about reconciliation and forgiveness. There are several reasons for this.

First, I was horrible at it before I fell. I was an awful example to my family, my friends, and my congregation. I now know what it's like to be the one who desperately wants to be reconciled with people I have harmed.

Secondly, one of my reasons for blogging is that I want to see churches and fallen pastors reconcile. Some churches actually handle the process the right way. They approach the pastor when they discover his indiscretion, they help he and his family get help as they depart and stay in contact with him.

However, this is a rarity. Most churches harbor bitterness, anger, and never get over the event. I do not believe this is the will of Christ. As the verse above states (and many others), those who have been sinned against should be the initiators of reconciliation and forgiveness. As I have stated before, this does not mean letting the minister back to a place of authority necessarily, but it does mean love and forgiveness.

There are a lot of verses about forgiveness. Some put the onus on the one who sinned. But the verse above and others put the responsibility on the one who was sinned against. 

In the Southern Baptist Convention, there are literally hundreds of churches that have been hurt by fallen pastors. These churches have not made amends or reconciled with these pastors.

Do not hear me placing full blame on these churches. If you've read my previous posts on the matter, you will know that is not how I feel. These men fell and sinned. Sometimes, they get pompous after their fall and immediately try to return to ministry. They become recalcitrant and egotistical. I understand that.

However, there is a responsibility for churches to reconcile with fallen pastors.

The majority of our Southern Baptist churches are not growing. There are many reasons for this. Could I suggest that one of the many reasons for it is that we have a lot of junk in our souls that needs to be cleansed?

I know of one local church whose pastor left forty years ago on bad terms. He didn't even sin morally. It was just a bad situation where he got into an argument with a deacon and his family who "ran the church." Ever since that time, the church has replaced the pastor every three years like clockwork. The family who was "in charge" is still there running the show.

When you ask an outsider what is going on at that church they always point back at the event that happened forty years ago. That's a shame.

That makes me concerned about churches all across the nation. It makes me concerned about the church where I fell, and it is my fault. It makes me concerned about the churches where other pastors fell who haven't taken the time to heal or reconcile with the pastor.

Two things are happening in churches like that. First, a dynamic of distrust can set in where congregations will always have a weary eye of the pastor. And secondly, if the people never forgive, there is the constant sin of unforgiveness in the midst that will hinder worship, growth, and spiritual awareness.

I had a funny thought about evangelism as well. Would churches effected by a fall be less likely to evangelize? Would they be less likely to invite people in knowing that they might have potential sins to deal with?

Since I fell, I've been called a lot of things. Since I consider this a "family friendly" blog, I won't mention the not so nice ones.

However, the one thing I've been called most often on this blog is "transparent." I consider that a compliment, even though I'm hiding behind a pseudonym.

In our Southern Baptist churches, we do a superb job of putting on a "happy face" each Sunday. We sit up straight, sing when we're cued to, and shake hands.  

If you have kids though, you know that the ride to church is completely different. "Don't hit your sister! Be quiet back there! You'd better stop complaining about going to church! Don't act up during the sermon this week!"

And each Sunday during Sunday School a topic will come up and we'll shake our heads at the sinful topic brought up. Lust? "We shouldn't do that, but you know everyone struggles once in a while." Greed? "That's a terrible thing, we should store up our treasures in heaven." Anger? "Well, righteous anger is fine, but Jesus said love your neighbor."

What if we were transparent during Sunday School? Lust? "Yes, I fight it daily, friends. Each day I struggle. Will you please pray for me?" Greed? "I've run three credit cards past their limit and it's out of control." Anger? "Me and my wife are having problems. I need help from someone. Can anyone here help me?"

What about during the week? What if we acted at church like we did at work? What if the pastor walked in on us at our most sinful moment? What if people saw us worried about our finances, fighting with our spouses, angry with our co-workers, cussing at the mechanic who messed up our car, kicking the cat, etc.?

If we acted at church like we did during the week - now that would be transparent. To have people see us as we really are - broken, sinful, wrecked, miserable, depressed. Because under those Baptist smiles are broken, sinful people who really need help.

When I was a pastor and would go to my bi-vocational job, people would cuss in front of me without knowing I was a pastor. When they found out, they'd say, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were a preacher."

I'd say, "Why are you sorry to me? You didn't do anything to me. Be yourself."

Why don't we act around our church friends like we do around our weekday friends? Because we're hypocrites. We're not transparent.

But guess what? God sees right through us. And yet, He loves us still. He shows us grace and mercy.

But, if one of us sees a church member sin or a church leader fall, we judge them harshly. And quickly. And we gossip. No grace. No mercy. Only judgment.

Know why we're in decline? Because most of us (and I'm including myself in this) don't look a thing like Christ and His grace when it comes to dealing with one another, much less non-Christians.

We haven't forgiven those who have sinned against us. We harbor anger, bitterness and rage when long ago we should have reached out and shown mercy as Christ has shown to us.

But strangely enough, each of us will pile into our cars on Sunday, looking our best, put on our Baptist smiles and push down our troubles.

It doesn't have to be that way. If we were all transparent, if we left our Baptist smiles at the door, shared our hurts with one another, reconciled our pasts, then looked out into our community and realized that we're just like everyone else, we might just be fueled for evangelism.

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.
(Matthew 6:1 ESV)

Reconciling With A Fallen Pastor, Part 4: Why Reconcile At All?

I started writing this post about how to reconcile with a fallen pastor long after he had fallen. But it occurred to me that I had failed to even broach the topic of "why reconcile with the fallen pastor?"

It's really a good question. I can see it from the hurt church member's perspective. He was the one who sinned. He should be taking the initiative and come dragging back to the church with a sad puppy dog face apology, right? He should come back in sack cloth and ashes, heart in hand and beg for forgiveness.

But it's not always that simple. The fallen pastor doesn't always see the path back to the church in that way. Often, he sees people staring him down, pushing him away, and the signs all telling him that he's lucky a restraining order wasn't put out. No kidding.

Most fallen pastors run away, tail tucked firmly between legs, and many go away to their own destruction.

If you're reading this blog, you may be a church member interested in reconciliation with a fallen pastor. Good for you. Pursue it. But you need to know why it is important. The why is just as important as the how.

Let me give you a few reasons why.

First, Scripture commands it. I mentioned Galatians 6 in a previous post. Galatians 6:1-5 (ESV) Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.

It is the duty of the church to pursue those who have sinned, even the pastor. To bring him back into fellowship. I'll go into more detail in a minute to what that means, but we are not to ever abandon a Christian in their most desperate hour.

If you found out that your uncle, brother, daughter was strung out on crack cocaine, would you leave them to their own devices? No, you would not. You would pursue them and help them. Then why would you abandon your brother in Christ after finding out they fell into moral sin? But churches do it in a second when they discover their pastors have fallen into adultery or pornographic sin.

Secondly, it can be a testimony to the world of the reconciling power of Christ. Ephesians 2:14-17 says that Christ "himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near."

Christ came to break down walls of separation. He came to reconcile Jew to Greek. If He could break down that wall, surely He can break down the wall of fallen pastor to hurt church. The cross is powerful enough to show the world that He can break down such barriers. Yes, the pain is real when men fall. But Christ's power over such sin is even more powerful.

Third, it is an example to your family, your children, and the world to forgive. You might not even realize how angry you have been for the past few years against your pastor and his sin. Unforgiveness and anger are not good. When you think about the pastor who fell, how does it make you feel? Pangs of anger? Pity? Make things right and reconcile with him as Christ asked us to do.

Fourth, you must do this for the health of your church. Often times, after a pastor falls, and a church does not forgive, a pattern of sin and unforgiveness settles in that stays within for generations. It may be that to break this cycle and to make peace with God, your church needs to do the right thing and openly reconcile with the former pastor.

It is not easy to settle your heart to approach a former, fallen pastor. The next few posts will deal with how to do this. Set your heart on prayer now on making yourself right with God. You know reconciliation is the right thing. If someone has sinned against you, there is a command to be followed. If you have done someone wrong, you know what is to be done.

And in the long run, you know it will be right in the eyes of your Lord.