A Day In The Life

I write a lot about the trials I've been through and the mistakes I've made. I write about the effects those things have had on my life and hope it has helped others.

I write under a pseudonym to protect those I've harmed, my kids and just because I don't need the publicity in this area, frankly. It's a sensitive thing when a pastor falls and I've written about a lot of sensitive issues pertaining to my fall. Thanks for understanding that.

For one post, I'm going to step outside of all that and let you know what I do in a typical day without divulging too much information. As if you cared, really. I'm just a normal guy trying to make it in this lovely world.

It'll be kind of a mundane post. Maybe.

Cynthia wakes up early because she works early. Sometimes I get up and see her off, sometimes she lets me sleep in. But she always wakes me with a sweet kiss before she leaves.

When I rouse from my slumber, I call Cynthia at work then get some caffeine and take my daily medicine. I check my email on my iPhone then I go straight to the Internet to check my blog. I also check some of my favorite sites, including the news and favorite sports sites.

I don't watch TV much. Only if there's an interesting sporting event on.

If there are dishes or housework I think I can tackle, I'll do that. Sometimes, I'll ponder my blog and a topic, or I'll make some work calls.

Then, it's off to work. I've referenced that I do work in the medical field. I do. It's hands on and I love it. It's a second shift position and I work with a lot of people. I work in the community, indoors, outdoors, and come in contact with all sorts of people.

While I'm busy at work, Cynthia gets off work and heads home. We text a lot during the day and I love that. We're always finding an excuse to talk.

When I'm at work, I love to write or read. Right now, I'm reading Greg Boyd's "Repenting of Religion." I highly recommend it.

When I get bored at work, I'll make random phone calls to friends and irritate them for no reason.

Sometimes during the day, my mind wanders to my sin, or I'll miss my mom, or I'll think of sermons I'd like to preach one day. But my mind is never far from Cynthia.

Some days, work is long, depending on my schedule or the workload, and some days it's really short.

On my way home is when I pray a lot. It's a long commute on country roads and I get a lot of quiet thinking done.

Cynthia is always waiting for me with a smile and welcome home kiss. I check the Internet for an hour or so to unwind while she puts her daughter down and we unwind together.

In the evening, I always get a call or Skype from my girls and we talk for a little, unless it's my weekend to have them (and that's a different story).

I always look forward to cuddling next to my beautiful wife at night. We talk a lot, or share our worries. But she's my best friend. She's the love of my life and all I want to focus on at the end of the day.

I wait until she goes to sleep then I'll get the coffee pot ready for her for when she wakes up the next day and a lot of the time I'll make her lunch.

I don't sleep real well. I'm a night owl and wish I slept better. I average about six hours a night and wish I could do it better. But that's life, I suppose.

It's a routine, I guess. And there are what seem to be a lot of meaningless details to most people.

But to me, they're all very meaningful, God-sent, and blessed moments.

What I Don't Miss About Pastoring: Insecurity

You wouldn't think pastors are insecure. You'd be wrong.

They all seem so confident standing up there preaching. Proclaiming the Word of God.

Heck, even around other pastors, they're a little arrogant.

I remember once I went to a pastor's conference. We had a breakout session on handling conflict in the ministry. The reason we were all in there was because we were insecure and had "trouble people" in our congregations.

However, the room was filled with Southern Baptist pastors at a pastor's conference. Which, if you've never experienced this, don't want to. Imagine a lot of strong personalities competing to share their advice with the moderator - however, they're in the room because they're insecure with handling conflict.

The moderator began the discussion with, "What is the most difficult occupation in the world?"

I winced.  You don't ask a group of pastors that question. Especially a group of pastors gathered to hear a breakout session on handling conflict.

The vocal vote was unanimous - "Pastoring!"

They hadn't realized that the moderator probably disagreed with them, even though he was a veteran pastor. He never said what he thought, but he was gauging his crowd. He wanted to listen to what they would say. And he did. He asked, "Why?"

"Because we do so much! We pray, we visit, and no one understands us! No one understands what we do except other pastors! And people will split the church over the smallest and most insignificant things! And we're underpaid and under appreciated!"

That went on for about five minutes. It's not that I disagree with any of those things, but it was getting ridiculous. Like a Jerry Springer Show.

I raised my hand. He actually called on me.

"I agree it's difficult," I said. "But the initial question was 'toughest job in the world.' While I agree our jobs are hard for us and that we have a higher calling, I don't know if it's the toughest. I think studies show that job would be air traffic controller.

People were frowning. But I continued.

"If the moderator was speaking to a group of doctors and asked the same question, what would they say? They wouldn't say 'pastors.' They'd say 'doctors.' If he was speaking to auto mechanics, steel workers, stay at home moms, construction workers, accountants, CEOs of Fortune 100 companies, they would all think their job was toughest."

A bellicose pastor looked at me and said, "Young man, how long have you been pastoring?"

I said, "Five years."

He said, "Then you just don't know."

I got shut down.

But I did know. I had already been through my fair share of petty arguments, anonymous letters from angry members, dumb statements about my sermons, and people just not "getting it" that I was in the same boat all those other pastors were in.

I was insecure.

Strange thing, most pastors don't know how insecure they are. They'd like to think that they're strong, but they don't know how weak they are.

We feel almost invincible behind the pulpit, but when we step down, we're weak. We're hurt when church members criticize us. We wonder what people are saying about us.

You'll say, "You shouldn't worry about what people say." I wish it were that easy. And I'm sure some pastors don't have that problem. But most do. And it's very difficult.

I'm not even talking about being a "people pleaser" (hate that term). I'm not talking about running a ministry so that people won't complain. If you're doing things right and by the Word, people will complain.

No, I'm just talking about having a tender heart as a pastor. One where there's always two or three people who don't like anything you do. They're going to hate everything you do and criticize you even if you were one of the Twelve.

People always said, "You can't let them get to you." For long periods of time, it wouldn't. But after a while, it finally would.

Your pastor is most likely strong most of the time, but even he has moments of insecurity. Build him up. Support him. Don't let him falter. Don't be someone who finds something to complain about all the time.

When you hear people complaining, ask, "Is it really something worth complaining about?" and "Do we need to bother the pastor about it?" and "Can we stop complaining and just fix the darn thing?"

Above all, pray for your pastor's heart. If you or someone in your church has a history of abrasiveness with him, fix it. Don't let it linger. Be of one mind.

Make it so when he goes to a pastor's conference and someone asks, "What's the hardest job in the world?" he replies, "It's not mine."