Learning From Chris Brown: Moving Past Ourselves

Singer Chris Brown sat down with Robin Roberts of Good Morning America yesterday for an interview before he sang a single from his new album, "F.A.M.E."

Roberts asked Brown about his past with singer Rihanna and the restraining order that was placed against him due to violence against her. Brown was agitated with the questions, performed his song, then went to his dressing room and allegedly busted out the window.

Here's the video of the interview:

I don't have a dog in the hunt because I don't really care about the entertainment industry as a whole. It did cause me reflection on my own life, however.

Brown said that "F.A.M.E." stood for "Forgiving All My Enemies." I don't know what sparked the dressing room melee, but it seems it was the questioning by Roberts about his past. Maybe I'm wrong.

I am sympathetic towards him in his journey, however. I'm not sympathetic towards his sin. I was where he was at one point. I can identify with his frustration.

At one point, I thought I had moved past my adultery, humbled myself, and was in a place where I was moving on enough to talk to people at my former church. I thought that if the topic of my former sin was brought up, or if I was confronted with it, I would be fine and could let it roll off my back. Even if someone told me what a wretch I was and wanted to hound me about it (which Roberts wasn't doing, in my opinion), I would be okay. I thought I could just smile and own up.

But I was wrong. I was fooling myself. That process took much longer than I thought. It takes a humbling work of God to show us that we are prideful people who need to confess that we are lowly people who have much work to do.

Sometimes, deep within us, we still hold on to the idea that despite our awful sin, we were somehow right. Sure, circumstances may occur to lead us in a certain direction in life. And at times, people may treat us poorly after we sin, but sin is still sin.

Until we take ownership of that sin and confess it and say, "You know what? Sin is sin. I messed up," we can never really "forgive all our enemies." We will never be able to look them in the eye with the confidence that Christ has forgiven us, even if they persecute us.

Because when Christ has forgiven, who is left to condemn us?

Fallenpastors.com: Help For Fallen Pastors, Part One

I've made a new friend and found a new hero. His name is Danny Williams.

Danny is a fallen pastor like me, but unlike me, he has taken his pain and fallenness to a completely different level. He has turned it into a ministry for fallen pastors.

At fallenpastors.com, there are many resources available. Behind it all is a humble, yet energetic pastor who loves His Savior and wants fallen pastors to be restored to their Savior.

Danny went through his own fall while serving in the Assembly of God church. His story is unique and follows the same path that other fallen pastor's stories take. Danny made many mistakes after his fall, but soon found that the only way to find peace was through repentance and restoration to Christ.

"My pain is now my power," he told me.  "My mess is now my message." Lord, I want to hear this man preach.

We had an hour long talk on the phone and it was very uplifting.  Danny gets many emails every month and counsels many men who are considering adultery and many pastors who have already fallen. He told me that a lot of fallen pastors aren't ready to hear what he has to say.

He's very direct with them. They need to hear what he has to say, however. Right off the bat, fallen pastors apparently aren't ready to repent. They have a need to justify, he told me. But he warns them of what is to come, but he also gives them hope. He tells them of his story and offers them counseling, love, and many resources. He encourages fallen pastors to get their sin out in the open.

"After I got restored, I wasn’t going to live under the shame of it anymore. Once [the sin is] in the light the enemy can’t use it against you anymore," he told me. I heard his wife give a hearty "Amen" in the background when he said this.

Danny's ministry is located in Austin, Texas. He doesn't consider himself to be the full circle resource for the fallen pastor, but just a link in a chain. Quoting 1 Corinthians 3, he said, "We’re only a step in the process but we’re a hope in the process. One plows, one plants, and one gives the increase."

After Danny's ministry talks to a fallen pastor, gives resources, teleconferences or helps in whatever way is necessary, they find a resource for that pastor in his area. "We give them resources and direction to find someone to help. To get someone to watch you just be in the room. To find acceptance to give you hope to be restored."

On his website, you will find information regarding reconciliation between a pastor and his spouse, ideas about false intimacy, true repentance, and some excellent resources.  I'm still not sure that Bro. Danny really isn't a closet Southern Baptist. 

Danny has built an excellent ministry and I am very glad he is out there. There are very few men like him who are actually helping fallen pastors. He has been doing this ministry for a little over two years and has helped about 25 ministers.

I thank God for my new friend and hope you will pray for him and his wife and ministry and the men he helps as well as the church he serves. If you know of any fallen pastors or hear of men who fall, please recommend Bro. Danny's ministry to them.

Apologizing To Whom?

Found an interesting article yesterday written by the former editor of Contemporary Christian Magazine. It had been three years after Amy Grant's divorce and the magazine wanted her to apologize for what she had done.

The editor, who was being asked by the publisher to write the article and ask for her apology, questioned the move.

An exchange from the article between him and the publisher:

“Who does she need to apologize to, Gerald?”

“Her fans. Us at CCM. And everybody she failed.”

The article is worth your time. But the topic behind it is also worth careful thought.

When one falls, to whom are they apologizing? David clearly stated after his sin with Bathsheba that he had sinned against God and God alone. However, it would seem that genuine sorrow and offering of a sincere sign of that sorrow to those directly offended would be appropriate.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I apologized to Cynthia for what I had done. I apologized to my daughters. I even wrote a letter to individual members of my church and told them I was sorry I let them down.

Was apologizing to the church for my adultery necessary? I did not commit adultery against them. I did lie to them, yes, and I apologized for that. But I had many tell me I needed to apologize to them for my adultery.

My sin was made public very quickly. By Cynthia, her family, and by the church. I don't know if there's a way around that. Pastors are public figures and when they lie and cheat, sin like that tends to get made public. However, there has to be a time when it stops being discussed by those who were not directly involved in the sin. When the sin itself and the discussion of it turns into gossip and unhealthy talk.

One could argue that my blog is the furtherance of this discussion. A fair point. But I don't view it that way. I've tried to handle my story in a way that is from my viewpoint and how I perceived them. I've kept everything anonymous so that those involved wouldn't be further effected.

There's a time to discuss sin and situations when it can help others understand seriousness of sin. And there's a time when it's simply unhealthy, destructive gossip that seeks to tear down others.

For Amy Grant, I think the editor had a good point. Did she owe her fans an apology for divorcing? Was her private life the business of her fans? Probably not.

My situation was different in many ways. My personal holiness affected my public ministry. I did owe the church an apology for my failing in that way. Many were hurt. An article by Christianity Today states, "When a pastor falls sexually, his church responds like a wife betrayed by her husband, experts say.'"

I am still in the process of asking myself the same questions I am presenting to you in this blog. Hopefully, someone will read this post and give me some interesting viewpoints on the matter.

Maybe I'm wrong. But that's what this blog has been about since day one. The exchange of ideas. Whether it's about Amy Grant or me, I'd be happy to hear it.